My office mate loved the first one. And, her name is Peggy, she says hello and that you all MUST be trouble makers if you are hanging out on my board. LOL
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My office mate loved the first one. And, her name is Peggy, she says hello and that you all MUST be trouble makers if you are hanging out on my board. LOL
Good Morning Miz Pez [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] , and a cheery Hello to Peggy [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] , I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope this will give you a reason to smile & make your co-workers wonder what you are up to [img]wink.gif[/img]
************************************************** *
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at
the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would
now need to enter a password. Something he could remember
easily and will use each time he has to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he
would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he
made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in ........
P.......
E.......
N.......
I.........
S........
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***
hahahahahaha *laughing at midget....hahahahahahaha
Why Men are never Depressed
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000, tux rental-$100 . People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Y our belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
but women outlive them heheheheheh
The West Virginia Telephone Company was going to hire a team
To install telephone poles.
The boss had to choose between a team of two rednecks and a
Team of two Mexicans.
He met with both teams and announced: "Here's what we'll do.
Each team will install poles out on the new road for a day.
The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."
Both teams headed right out.
At end of their shift, Jose and Pedro came back and the
Boss asked them how many poles they had installed. They said
That it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.
Forty-five minutes later, Bubba and Billy Bob , the redneck guys
Came back. They were totally exhausted. The boss asked,
"Well, how many poles did you guys install?"
Bubba, the team leader, wiped his brow and sighed, " Billy Bob and
Me, we got three in."
The boss gasped, "Only three? Those two Mexicans put in
Twelve!"
"Yeah," said Bubba, "but you should see how much they left
Stickin out of the ground!"
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening, she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"
She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it."
He frowns for a moment, then says, "O.K." He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.
About half an hour later he returns all tired and sweaty and says, "Well, I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig squealed, it's hard to tell."
hahahahahah [img]graemlins/sheep.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/sheep.gif[/img]
A Texas rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door.
A young boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is yer Dad home?" the rancher asked.
"No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town."
Well said the rancher, "is yer Mom here?"
"No, sir, she isn't here neither. She went into town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with Mom and Dad."
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that" he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but, I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."
That was a giggle producer!!! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]